DESULTORY REFLECTIONS
Desultory Reflections 20th April 2019 3:25 am The setting is the same. I'm spread out in my bed, my posture stuck somewhere between sitting and lying. I'm alone in my room, in the whole apartment in fact, alone as that time before I was born, a loneliness that's calling out to me, the only voice echoing along the walls, akin to death. The clock's ticking as it's supposed to, but I don't turn on the light to check the time, because the darkness has a solemnity about it, it's radiating a pseudo peacefulness that's pretty much impossible to attain in one's lifetime, and I'm reluctant to disturb it. Instead I tap on my phone and turn it off instantly. It's 3:26 am. I light another cigarette, dragging death in with a desperation that's masking my hopelessness. I release the smoke with a sigh, trailing my fingers through the smoke rings dancing in the dark, like midsummer shadows trailing in my past, before eventually flickering away, ...